Anti-Mosquito Propaganda

Mosquitoes bite. They bite hard. Well, really, “sting” is a more accurate description of what has caused me writhing agony these past few nights. “Writhing” is subjectively over-melodramatic, and that is quite the point. I hate mosquitoes. They have no business being in my house and they really have no purpose in the grand scheme of Nature, either. Worse still, in many places of the world they are considered prime disease-carriers. Bringers of nasty stuff like West Nile, a feverish virus with flu-like symptoms that slowly eats away at your brain. Okay, I may have embellished that part, but seriously, go read the Wikipedia article for some mildly horrifying factz on the West Nile Virus.

I can’t seem to figure out where the hell these little buggers keep coming from. There’s no standing water, that’s for sure. I packed up and nearly tossed out the little indoor Zen fountain. Not even the outdoor fountain has the privilege of being operational at the moment. And yet they still attack me in full force. Having eliminated all possible sources, defense is the only thing left. My defense systems are meager – a 12-pack of Off Brand (pun probably intended) deet repellent. Man, does it smell. Awful at first, like one of those nasty industrial chemical cleaners. But then it starts to get to your head. At least, it gets to my head. And I was practically swimming in deet. Eventually the smell starts to overwhelm, and then comfort me, with a bittersweet confidence that nasty mosquitoes will avoid me as their next meal. The little blood-sucking vamps can go find some other vic. This time, anyway. I considered it a declaration of war when they entered my home, and they even had the gall to attack first. Tomorrow, the world will have a few more stupid skeeters either dead or wallowing in self-remorse and self-pity when they discover how pathetic they really are, unable to eat because of a stupid smell.

I hate mosquitoes.